Any ordinary day has the potential to change your life. Beyond the idea that tomorrow is not guaranteed to us, every single moment has the potential to teach us something that forever sets us on a new path never anticipated.Yesterday, I had the type of Ah-Ha moment that will forever change the way I think, if only I can embrace a somewhat strange way of looking at fear- it is not only necessary, but by embracing it, we can take control and learn how to use fear to our advantage.
You see, for me, fear has run so much of my life that I have been in a constant state of paralysis for many years. The fear of failure, the fear of taking risks, the fear of not being good enough/smart enough/ worthy enough, etc. etc.
When these thoughts plague the subconscious to such a pervasive extent it is hard to release the hold they have on our minds and our actions, especially when they operate so far in the shadows we don’t know they’re running the show, because we don’t even know they exist. Don’t get me wrong however, fear is indeed running the show most of the time when we are not aware of it’s existence.
Step one in this harnessing of fear, is awareness. You cannot be controlled by your thoughts/feelings/emotions/fears when you are aware of their existence.
This awareness however is not as easy to come by as we might hope. Often times the real fear is hiding behind layers and layers of other fears. You have to do the work to get down to the real driving force.
Once you have become more aware of your fears (or even to uncover the deeper levels), you have to begin to interact with them. By interact, what I mean is begin to question the fear that is coming up and challenge it.
“What are you trying to tell me?”
“What are you trying to protect me from?”
“What am I uncertain or uncomfortable about that is making me afraid?”
“Does this fear serve my best interest?”
This last question leads me into step three.
By this point you have started to gain some clarity as to what you are really scared of, you have begun to do some work on your fears by asking further questions. Now it’s time to decide how to move forward.
Are you going to continue letting your fears run the show? Or are you going to use your fear to make the scary decisions that will move you to another place in life?
Fears come up most often when we are uncomfortable or moving out of the safe bubble we have operated in for so long.
When we begin to challenge that comfort, when we want to move to a new level of success/happiness/career/relationship, these fears creep up to tell us “oh no, we can’t do that, we don’t know the outcome what if…”
It is important to also know that fear is neither good nor bad, positive nor negative, it just is. By understanding this concept, we can also look at our fear and think about it non judgmentally.
(Again, not easy. I don’t ever give you easy answers here, but would you really receive any benefit if I did the work for you?)
So there you have it, harnessing fear through awareness, questions and decision. This is a never ending cycle. You can address any emotion or thought in this way. Gain clarity through awareness, begin to ask questions and challenge your own status quo, and finally decide how to move forward.
Be mindful of your thoughts, do not let the autopilot subconscious mind run away with your life. Take control and decide how you want to present yourself in the world.
I’ll leave you with a quote by T-Swifty, you may not be a fan, but the girl has a point.
“Being FEARLESS isn’t being 100% Not FEARFUL, it’s being terrified but you jump anyway…”