Sometimes in life, we feel completely stuck and we can’t quite figure out the “Why” of the matter.
We desperately want to move forward, but something big, vague and just at the edge of our consciousness is keeping us back. Keeping us small.
If any of these ring true for you, the answer may actually be You.
#1 You keep repeating old patterns
Patterns come in all shapes and sizes. They show up in our careers, our love lives, our diets, you name it.
We commit to a new way of living, and we follow it really well for awhile until something happens.
We go on vacation (derailed routine), we meet a great guy/gal (this time will be different), a new job opportunity will pay us more (but doesn’t sound any better than our current job).
And as a result, we go back to eating things that aren’t good for us, we find out the person isn’t any different than the last, and the new job that we hopped ship for isn’t any better.
All of these scenarios have happened to us before, it’s like we’re attracting them. Why do they keep happening?
Unfortunately, the common denominator is actually us. This is when we need to start asking the tough questions about ourselves to find out why.
Do we not think we’re worthy/good enough for the type of love we want?
Are we afraid of failing if we reach for the job of our dreams?
What is the real reason we’re getting in our way and repeating the negative patterns again and again?
#2 You assume history will repeat itself
Number one is our evidence for this scenario.
Because our patterns keep coming up, because we keep finding ourselves in the wrong relationships, because we can’t stick to another yo-yo/fad diet, we assume it will always be so.
When we’re getting in our own way, we can’t see how anything will ever be different.
So instead of putting the intention out for a new way of being, we shrink away from new opportunities that may set us down a healthier path.
We also may find ourselves settling for whatever comes our way because we think this may be the best we’ll ever get in life.
Again, we have to ask the tough questions. We need to challenge our thoughts.
Just because this happened last time, why do we think it will happen again this time?
What can we change to avoid the same situation happening again?
#3 You feel like a victim
Feeling and acting like a victim can keep us stuck for a very long time.
I don’t doubt that events in your life have happened that are hard to comprehend. My heart goes out to you for whatever you have been through.
However, the trauma of your past can be either a hindrance or a fire. You can be held back by it, or use it to light your passions and push you towards solutions for both yourself and those around you.
Feeling like a victim is clear in our inner dialogue when we blame others and especially external factors.
So how do we work around this? We focus on what we can control and find solutions.
We stop blaming and take responsibility for being in our own way. We own up anything we can, and the rest, we do our best to let go of so the baggage doesn’t get in the way of our future.
#4 Your language does not reflect the life you want for yourself
If you have ever heard of “The Secret” or “The Law of Attraction” then what I say next won’t come as any surprise to you.
When our language about our lives is negative, when we focus on only the things in our lives we don’t want, that is exactly what we will attract.
If you are on a ladder and afraid of heights, what will you do when I say “don’t look down”? You will focus on, and eventually look down and probably become scared.
When our inner dialogue is “I can’t stand my job,” “I hate being single,” “My clothes don’t fit anymore” then our external reality will continue to reflect these things.
Instead, if we can focus on what IS going well, we will train our brain to start looking for more and more positives.
Gratitude is a hugely important practice. If you aren’t familiar with it, head over to this post from awhile back on the topic.
#5 You don’t know your purpose
This is the most near and dear to my heart as finding and following my life purpose is what brought me here, but this is completely new to me as well.
Up until just the beginning of this year, I had no purpose and didn’t even know I needed one. I followed along through life’s path as it came up for me. I didn’t even consider taking charge of the course myself.
Not knowing or looking for your purpose is a coping mechanism. It keeps us in our comfort zone.
When we don’t look for more in life, we are choosing to stay put instead of going for our dreams.
This is the choice of inaction. And it’s getting in the way of greatness!
In order to change this, we have to start looking at all areas of our lives.
What gives us energy? What are we great at? What am I passionate about?
The more we challenge our inner dialogue, the more we become self-aware, the more we will begin to move out of our own way.
Self-sabotage is a subconscious decision. It is a defense mechanism that is trying to keep us safe from a perceived danger, usually that of uncertainty or fear of change.
The only real cure is awareness and action.
Nothing but great things will come by stepping aside and letting yourself move actively and consciously forward!