Are you sitting in the driver’s seat in your life?
I mean really and truly sitting there, making conscious decisions and responsibility for those decisions?
My guess is that the answer is probably “Maybe” or “Sometimes.”
If any of the following sound familiar, see the answers above, they’re probably yours too.
“Where did the last few months/years/decades go?”
“If only I had X job, life would be better.”
“If So-and-So would just stop doing X I wouldn’t be so angry/sad/disappointed.”
“I wish I just had X, Y or Z so that…”
“If I knew how to do X I could start my own business/ leave my job/ follow the crazy hair brained idea that has been running through my head for years.”
I could go on and on with this list, the point is that all of these statements put the energy outside of us. They give our power away to some other person/place/thing/circumstance and keep us in the passenger seat, or worse yet, in the back seat altogether.
When our comfort zone has become this type of self-talk, with the energy and control given away, we are often relying on other people to have our needs met, to give us permission, to take action, and a myriad of other things that keep us playing small and doing the same old same.
Truth is, no one else can live this life for us. We are the ones with the power to choose and to act, which can be scary. When we have to make decisions, we also have to claim responsibility when things go off track or not as we anticipated.
Fun fact, however, is that we also get to claim all of our Successes! All of our Triumphs! All of the beautiful, crazy, creative, chaotic moments as well.
It’s our fear however that keeps us stuck, wandering through life in a haze, and wondering or daydreaming about what else is possible.
Our fear and doubt and self-talk prefers to stay in the safety of our not so comfortable comfort zone because that is the known, the familiar, the small bit of certainty that makes sense to us. Even if we don’t necessarily like where we’re at, at least we understand this place.
And so each time we try to test the boundaries of that zone, we get those thoughts of “this won’t work” and “I don’t know what I’m doing, I’d better stop here” and “Oh look, the new season of Orange is the New Black is out on Netflix. I’d better watch it all at once.”
Our fear causes us to procrastinate, to ruminate, to stop in our tracks right before we are about to take off and change course from the same old same we have been doing.
It even keeps us searching for more information, more details, more self-help books and experts to light the way for us.
Do you remember the first time you were given the keys to mom or dad’s car? The first time you sat in that seat and tried to remember if your right blinker was to push the lever up or down? There were so many things you had to remember all at once while you were learning to drive, and yet it was terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time.
Life is like getting behind the wheel that first time. It’s scary, it’s exciting, and there are so many choices to make. Even when you know where you are headed, there are tons of different ways to get there. Sometimes you make a wrong turn, run out of gas or pick up a random person on the side of the road and you are still moving forward.
We make thousands of decisions every day, some big and some itty bitty, make sure they are your decisions, no one else is headed to exactly the same place as you, make sure you are the one driving!